Abdu is Coming Home!

We received word this morning that the US Embassy cleared Abdu and he is able to come home. My dad and I are flying out next Saturday, May 14th, on our way to Ethiopia. We will return the following Saturday, the 21st.

I have to say that I feel like I have barely recovered from the last trip so I am not looking forward to the trip itself. I have grown to love Ethiopia but twice in a month is an awful lot of travel.

This time I plan to kind of hunker down while in Ethiopia and just hang out at the guest house without trying to venture out too much. There will really be no reason to go to Layla House every day as we won't have children there any longer. Aside from the fact that I really love spending time with all of those kids.

On the homefront everything is going extremely well. Derartu continues to make tremendous progress with bonding and language. She is finally even warming up to me and treating me like her dad instead of a stranger.

As we lead up to Mother's Day I want to take an opportunity to tell the world, or the hand full of our blog readers, that I have the most special woman in the world as my wife and the mother of our children. She is truly a loving, tough, hard working and selfless leader of our household. She is the glue that holds our family together and the fuel that keeps us going. I can't overstate how much I love her and how thankful I am to God for giving us such a perfect gift. Happy Mothers Day T!!

Updates...

I have been terrible about updates but, as you can imagine, life has been pretty hectic since we returned home almost two weeks ago. Let me start by simply saying that Derartu is doing fabulously! I only mention Derartu because we hit yet another snag and weren't able to bring Abdu home. More on that later in the post.

With Derartu we couldn't have asked for an easier transition so far. We had heard horror stories of children scared out of their minds which resulted in acting out in crazy ways, being inconsolible or just being generally depressed. Thankfully we have dealt with none of this. Tami and I truly believe the saving grace was having Kyle and Faith with us in Ethiopia. She immediately took to them and built a great rapport before we even left Ethiopia. That certainly helped us to get off on the right foot. Looking back I can't believe we ever questioned whether or not we should take Kyle and Faith. They had an experience of a lifetime and they were beyond perfect with the way they behaved and helped out. They are awesome kids and we are so thankful they were with us.

Since we have been home Derartu has come a long way. She has been a good eater and sleeper which has been a big help. She has already started to learn and use a lot of english. She has built a super relationshiop with the kids and she is really building a great, loving relationship with Tami. It has been a little slower with her and I. It is not unusual for many of these kids to find it hard to bond with a male and that is what is happening in Derartu's case. Having said that, we make little strides every day. There is nothing like flat out rejection happening, just a little hesitation to let me in too far. We play games, I paint her finger and toe nails and she has joined in some wrestling sessions as well. I keep begging for the kiss good night but I haven't got it yet. I think it is coming soon. It will be an awesome day when I finally get her to do it. So overall, things are going great.

Unfortunately Abdu wasn't able to come home with us. We knew that this was a possibility when we went, so it wasn't like we were totally caught off guard. While we were there the US Embassy obtained some information that differed from some of the initial information received about Abdu's background. Because of that, the US Embassy asked that the case go back in front of the judge to get a new decree that reflected this new information. Since this could possibly take a while I changed my flights and came home with everyone else instead of staying the extra five days to bring Abdu home.

We received an update yesterday about Abdu's case. Apparently our agency went back to Abdu's birth place to do a little more investigating into this new information before they brought it before the judge. Turns out that the investigation brought out new information that was different than everything else. So naturally the judge said she can't change the decree based on information that doesn't appear to exist by all first and second hand accounts. The new plan is that next Wednesday there is going to be another birth-family interview with the US Embassy. We are hoping and praying after this 2nd interview at the Embassy they will clear the case and allow us to go back and get Abdu. However, the result of that interview could delay things longer or even put the whole situation at an impasse. Only time will tell...

I had originally planned on returning alone to get Abdu because we weren't going to leave Derartu so that we could both go back. The great news is that my dad agreed to return with me so I didn't have to travel all that way alone. My mom was on the first trip, which was great for us and for her. So she returned and "nudged" dad toward returning with me and he finally decided that this is what he wanted to do. I can't say enough about my mom and dad. They both recently went through a renewal weekend at church and have become even better people than they were before. It is wonderful to see God working so much in their lives. Going to Ethiopia is something I don't know if my dad would have even considered before this conversion. He is seeing and living his life so differently now and it is wonderful for all of his family to witness.

Our time in Ethiopia was great. I will save all the details for another post. Please pray for the positive resolution of Abdu's case and that I will find myself on an airplane traveling around the world in the next couple of weeks.

Some Pictures Since We've Been Home

Here are several pictures of Derartu now that she is home. She is doing great! More to come...

We are leaving today!

Well, the clowns in Washington decided not to let the government shut down which is great news for us. We were plastered to the news until the announcement last night and we very happy to hear that we would be able to leave today. I had to get online at nearly midnight to reserve a hotel room in Washington for our layover tonight. So now a whole new and different kind of joy, fear and anxiety come into play. When Tami and I were talking late last evening I said to her that after we leave our home today that our family will never be the same. Much like having a new baby, there is much anticipation and joy but at the same time there is a good measure of anxiety and fear. The six of us have life down pretty well. We live a good, happy and easy life together. We certainly think our new family members will change everything for the better but it is that "change" thing that always brings about some unknowns and that is always a little unnerving. Tami, my mom, Kyle, Faith and Derartu will return next Saturday 4/16. I will return on 4/22 with Abdu if everything works out and he is cleared by the Embassy when we are over there. We pray for a safe and easy trip. We pray also that God gives us the wisdom, patience and perseverance to be good parents and protectors of our children on this new chapter of our lives. See you on the other side!

Just when we started to celebrate.....

Maybe we aren't going this weekend! How in the world can this be right. Any of you who know me well know that I have been a pretty unhappy guy with our politicians and the state of our political system. Truth be told I can be described as a conservative. However, my anger towards our representatives and the system as a whole is beyond any party or ideology. If you are paying any attention to the news right now you know that we could possibly have a government shut down if congress does not come to an agreement on the budget by Friday evening at midnight. Well, guess what? If the government shuts down that means that all non-essential functions at foreign embassies will be discontinued. The whole point of our upcoming trip is to attend a Visa appointment at the Embassy. Therefore if the government shuts down then there is no reason for us to go because we can't bring our children home. So I thought I was sick and tired and angry about our government before, this just ticked it up to another level. Now this can all be avoided if they pass a continuing resolution or agree on a budget before Friday at midnight. I have contacted my congressmen and both of my senators today urging them to avoid the shut down. I may have overlooked a few of my beliefs in this case due to my selfishness, but so be it. Call me a hypocrite, a flip-flopper or whatever you will. Frankly, I don't care. We are sick of waiting and having issue after issue stand in the way of uniting our family. Having said that, I have been reminded by my wonderful wife and by my mother that God's hand is in this and I need to trust. This has something that I have always struggled with in my relationship with Him because I like to drive the bus. But they are exactly right. We may not understand or like the way things unfold but there isn't one time in my life that I can say that God has failed me. That fact and his perfectness require me to submit to His will. I am trying hard to do that today. With that in mind, I am not angry with God but I am certainly not letting go of my anger with our political leaders and their lack of leadership.

We are finally going!!!!!!!!!!

I can't begin to explain how crazy this day has been. When I checked our email this morning before leaving for work we had an email in our inbox had an email from the US Embassy in Ethiopia. The email was actually to our agency director in Ethiopia but copied us which I thought was unusual as this had never happened before. In the email it stated that for Abdu's case they wanted to interview someone from his birth family before they would clear him and that doing this interview would probably prevent a prolonged investigation. Well you can imagine that our reaction was, "Here we go again!" Derartu has finally passed and is clear to come home but no Abdu was going to be delayed for some time. We decided that it was a good idea to email the director of our agency to ask how long it was going to take to get a member of his family to show up for this interview. If it was going to take a few weeks then we wanted to go over there now and bring Derartu home. Then I would return on a second trip when Abdu is cleared some time down the road. When the director emailed back she said that they planned to have the member of the birth family in for the interview with the Embassy this coming Monday, 4/11. She suggested that we come now and have Derartu's embassy appointment on Wednesday, 4/13. She said if we arrive on Monday we can meet Abdu's family member which is something we thought we wanted to do anyway. Then if the interview goes well with the embassy, Abdu could be assigned an Embassy date as soon as early the week of 4/18. After receiving the invitation to travel to Africa this weekend it didn't take us long to say yes. We checked with our travel agency who specializes in adoption travel and they told us that they don't have advanced purchase requirements so the price would be what it normally is. We had already arranged with Kyle and Faith's school that they might be off next week, so the school sent home all of their homework for the week ahead. They are so great, they actually gave Faith and Kyle far less work than what their classmates will have in order to not burden them on this trip. Their hard work in the classroom paid off as part of the reason for this decision by the school is because they are such good students. We are scheduled to leave on Saturday afternoon and arrive in Addis Ababa on Monday morning. We are bringing Kyle and Faith and my (Scott's) mom is also coming with us. Since we are looking at two different embassy dates about a week apart we will be departing Ethiopia separately. Tami, mom, Kyle, Faith and Derartu will be leaving at the end of next week to return to the US. I will be staying in Ethiopia for an extra 4 days to attend Abdu's embassy date and to bring him home. The only catch could be that the Embassy still requests more information and/or wants to do a full investigation even after interviewing someone from Abdu's birth family. If this happens I will simply change my flight to return with the rest of the family and then return to Ethiopia when Abdu eventually is cleared by the Embassy. This isn't they way we envisioned everything going down, but after all of the waiting and snags we have encountered we will take whatever we can get! It is almost surreal to think that these kids will finally be home as a part of our family in the next two weeks. It is also a little scary and unnerving. Much like having a new baby come into the world, I don't think there is any way to be completely prepared for the changes and what it will take to get to our "new normal." However, I am confident that we have more than enough love and faith in God in our home to get through any trials that lay ahead with this transition. Derartu and Abdu, you're almost home! We have prayed incessantly for this day to come and we love you so much!

Good News!!!...and no news?????

Last Thursday we received the long awaited news that Derartu was cleared by the Embassy. This means that we are now free to go over and bring her home!!! I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to finally have this resolved. What a horrible time it was to wait and not know. Most adoptive parents say that once she comes home that we will forget what the waiting was like much like a women forgets about the labor and delivery once the baby has arrived. I have a hard time imagining that I will forget the roller coaster of emotions we have endured for 4.5 months, but we will see when she gets here. The obvious question is "when do you go get her?" The surprising answer is that we don't know yet. Under normal circumstances we would have chosen dates and booked plan tickets by now. But we were told two weeks ago that Abdu's case was going to be submitted to the Embassy. This was great news because if he was cleared then we would go get them both. Knowing our luck, guess what has happened? We have now gone the past two weeks and he still hasn't been submitted to the Embassy. Why? Because of a missing letter from the Ministry of Women's Affairs (MOWA). MOWA is an organization in Ethiopia that provides a lot of the documentation for the courts and embassy during the adoption process. I don't fully understand the reason for their existence or what their core mission is, but I do understand we need for them to write a lot of mandatory letters during the process. MOWA is the poster child for the Ethiopian way. What seems to be a routine letter that is required for Embassy submission all of the sudden is like the most drawn out process you have ever been a part of. Not only that, some times it will take two days to get a letter and others it takes weeks. It is almost like MOWA will get to it when they get to it, no rhyme or reason to the method. So that is where we stand. A little girl who is clear to come home but we can't because we are waiting for a routine letter to be submitted by MOWA so our son's case can go to the Embassy. Things will also get a little complicated the longer this drags into April because we have Faith's First Communion at the beginning of May. Her first communion is a hugely important life event that we don't want to become something we "have to get through" because we are recovering from the trip or preparing for the trip. This needs to be celebrated as the wonderful day that it is. I know I ask this every time, but keep praying that things get resolved VERY soon!

Is it good news or just more news???

We received another update from our agency yesterday and are being told it is good news. You can imagine after 4 months of being jerked around we are a little cautious about believing that any news is good news.

So here is the news: Last week Wednesday Derartu's case was finally submitted again to the US Embassy. Our thought is that there is nothing else they could possibly need at this point considering the full investigation her case went through. Oh but we were wrong. Yesterday the US Embassy said they need another document from the orphanage where Derartu came from. Our agency made it sound like this document was a formality and easy to get. They tried to make it sound like this request is a positive sign. The problem is that this is just another request on top of many other requests that will just push things out a little further.

There was a bit of what we consider good news in their communication with us. Apparently Abdu's post-court paperwork is progressing well and they hope to be able to submit it to the Embassy next week on 3/23. If this happens and they get that other document for Derartu our kids could be assigned one Embassy date together which is definitely good news.

Don't get me wrong, we see that God's plan may be at work here with the timing. It would be wonderful logistically and financially to go one time and bring both of them home which it appears that we will likely be able to do at this point. However, this timeline is only positive if the Embassy doesn't ask for more documentation on Derartu or, heaven forbid, they take Abdu's case down the same path that they took Derartu's which would delay him for months. The bottom line is that we won't know until his case is submitted and the Embassy can review it.

One other tactic that we have taken is to get our local US Congressman's, Marlin Stutzman, office involved. They were absolutely wonderful in getting a couple of things done for us late last year with some things that we needed from government agencies. The lady that we are working with has an extensive background in international adoption within the government and is well connected there. As I type this she is putting an inquiry into the Embassy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to get an explanation as to all that is happening with our case. Our agency is wonderful but they don't give us a lot of detailed explanation about what is happening, so hopefully this will yield some results.

Our agency did end their message to us yesterday by saying that if all goes well we should be able to bring both of them home in early April. So we need everyone to pray hard for us! We need for these little ones to come home and be with their family and we sure could use to get rid of all the anxiety, stress, frustration and worry.

The rest of the family is doing great. Tami's grandmother passed last week so we attended that funeral over the weekend. What a GREAT lady and a GREAT example of discipleship. Grandma Rita will certainly be missed! It was truly a celebration as she was a strong woman of God and we know that she wasn't afraid, but rather looking forward to her homecoming.

The kids are doing wonderfully in school now that we are through this horrible winter and they are actually attending school on a regular schedule. Faith is on a break from winter swimming and the two older boys are playing Upward basketball. Faith also tried out for the school play but didn't get a part:( She was very disappointed and so was I as I was at the cut and had to watch as she anxiously awaited the calling of her name that never happened. But she rebounded quickly that evening which was promising as sometimes she really lingers on bad news.

We hope all is well with our friends and family who follow our pathetic little blog. We pray for all of you often in our family shared prayer each evening before bed. I hope to have some good news to post about our adoption really soon!

STILL Waiting.....

What a soap opera this adoption process is turning into! I am going to try to attempt to document everything that has happened over the past few months. I apologize if it is confusing but I know that we get a lot of questions about what is happening so here is my attempt to explain.

Derartu's case was flagged for an investigation. This is being done pretty regularly now in Ethiopia because of widespread allegations of adoption fraud. So the US Embassy is investigating a lot of cases and adding new guidelines to make sure that the children being adopted fit the definition of "orphan" as published by the US Department of State. Tami and I fully support the Unites States' efforts on this front although it has been extremely frustrating and disheartening.

Prior to the investigation the US Embassy kicked back Derartu's case twice because certain documentation was missing and some of it wasn't on the proper letterhead. Yes, that's right, the proper letterhead. So now it is mid-January and her case is submitted a third time and it is flagged for investigation. The director of our agency met with Embassy officials and told them that they would do an independent investigation as she knew our agency would get it done much faster than the Embassy could do it. 3 weeks into the investigation we asked where the investigation was and were told that the lawyer doing the investigation needed another week. Fast forward 2 weeks and we ask where the investigation was and were told that it was done and now was being translated to English for the Embassy. We are now two weeks into the translation of the report and it still isn't done. We were told that Derartu's case would be submitted this past Wednesday and it just didn't happen.

On top of this investigation the US Embassy continues to add new documents and guideline requirements at least once per week. Last Friday morning we were told that our case would be submitted the following Wednesday. Not an hour later we get an email from our agency that says the US Embassy just informed them that Tami and I both have to sign a Privacy Act document that gives the US Embassy permission to share information with our agency about our case. Now up to this point that was happening but apparently there was a "magical" need for a waiver. The kicker here is that Derartu's case couldn't be submitted until the ORIGINALS were in the US Embassy in Ethiopia. Keep in mind that this is Friday and they submit the following Wednesday. So we signed them and sent them over night to our agency in Washington State so they could get them to Ethiopia.

I followed up early this week to see if they could get the document to the US Embassy by Wednesday so our case could be submitted. At that point I was told that submission wasn't going to happen anyway because our investigation still wasn't translated (after 2 weeks) and now the Embassy has required that the next of kin sign a waiver stating they understand that they understand the child is being adopted internationally. Ethiopia is not a place where you email, scan, fax or fedex a document to the next of kin. Someone is going to have to track them down to get a signature. Who knows how long this is going to take.

Out of all of the train wreck situations I have heard adoptive families going through in Ethiopia, ours is right up there with the worst.

Now let's get to the sliver linging part. We thank God that He has called us to Him and given us the wisdom to pursue and grow our relationship with Him. This is what has gotten us through all of this turmoil and allowed us to trust in Him and His plan for our family. The good thing that will likely come out of this is that we will likely be able to bring Derartu and Abdu home at the same time. We originally thought we would have to go twice which is inconvenient and expensive. Abdu's case appears to be progressing more "normally" and should be ready for submission to the Embassy in the near future like Derartu's case. Now there is always the chance that the Embassy decides to investigate or kick back Abdu's case but we are keeping the faith that this won't happen.

So, as always, we need your prayers. We have run the gammet of emotions during this process. Any of you who know me well knows how patient a person I am (NOT!). I think that is another blessing that has come from this process. God has forced me to TRUST. I haven't been very good at it but it has made me very aware of my control issues and has caused me to reflect on how that affects me and what I need to do to change it.

On the homefront things are great. We are sick of winter and bummed that all the snow days have extended the school year by several days. The kids are doing wonderfully in school and everywhere else. Faith is going to her first Reconciliation this weekend in preparation for her First Communion in May. We are so excited for her as this is the centerpoint of our Catholic faith.

Update...Kind Of

Still no word on when we go back to bring Derartu home. Our agency submitted her paperwork to the Embassy twice and it was kicked back. On the third attempt the Director of Layla House talked to a high ranking official at the US Embassy and was told that all cases coming from the region where Derartu is from are being investigated. Apparently this region has been found to have a much higher level of fraud. So instead of submitting the file to have the US Embassy investigate, our Director kept the file and hired an independent attorney to do the investigation as it would be much quicker that way. We checked in last week to see where they were at on the investigation. The only response we got was that the attorney said it would be another week. So we still have our fingers crossed that this week will finally be the week that we get the good news to travel.

We try every day to ask God for patience and understand why this process is going like it is. One of the things that could happen as a result of this delay is that we can bring both of them home at the same time if Abdu's case follows a fairly "normal" timeline. This would save us time and money so that would be good. The other thing we have learned a bit about and will likely pursue is a trip when we are there to go to Derartu's home town to meet the birth family. This is something our agency can arrange for us and we have had other families tell us that it is a wonderful thing that we should not pass on. Lastly, we have had time to get Faith her passport so we think we might take both Kyle and Faith with us on this trip. This would be the trip of a lifetime for them.

We met some great people from Colorado on our court trip in November. We have kept in close contact with them since that trip. They went last week to bring their boys home and were gracious enough to get some pictures of Derartu and Abdu while they were there. Here they are looking great. We miss them so much and can't wait to get back to them!

FRUSTRATED.....and hopeful!!!

Let's start with the good news. A's court date was last Friday and we passed!!!!! So he will no longer be referred to as A, but now as Abdu. Here he is.

So Derartu and Abdu are both officially Koesters. Abdu just turned 3 in September. We are very excited to have him as a part of the family as he is a silly, michevious little guy that will fit right in.

Now for the frustrating. We passed court on November 11th for Derartu and then there has typically been 6-8 weeks between passing court and receiving an Embassy appointment to return and bring the child home. Well it has now been 8 weeks and we have no idea where we stand. Since our court date there has been a big "stink" made in Ethiopia about corrupt adoption agencies and orphanages. So the Ethiopian government and the US Embassy have, without warning, decided all of their requirments are being tightened. Not for new cases, but effective immediately for everything in the pipeline. This has resulted in paperwork requirements that are new, which caused our agency to have to run out and get more documentation at the point they were ready to request an Embassy appointment.

This has caused confusion for everyone, including our agency. Let me be clear that AAI is a great agency but we haven't been able to get clear information out of them during this process. We sit here today with absolutely no clue as to when we will return to bring Derartu home. We could get a call today or it could be weeks from now. Our agency couldn't even answer the question as to whether or not our case was submitted to the Embassy and whether or not there are any issue with it. Beyond that, apparently the Embassy is now assigning specific dates to families which is a new process. Every day some new requirement or process comes out which just continues to drag things out. We accepted Derartu's referral in July and now we are almost in February and she still isn't here. We feel hopeless and helpless.

Let me just say that we are completely on board with Ethiopia and the United States trying to clean up any corruption and/or fraud that is taking place. We wouldn't want to be a part of any of that and we also don't want ANY children to be "orphaned" because of corrupt practices. Our frustration stems from us simply wanting our children here so we can begin the process of providing them love and security. To make them feel a part of our family and to get to enjoy them every single day. At this point we feel like this whole thing is a rapidly moving target and the result is that we are losing time with our children.

Pray for us. We need patience and understanding. We need to trust that all things will be done according to His plan, not ours.